just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
