I want to have your abortion
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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