He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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