You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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