Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
