Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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