remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
