I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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