I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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