I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
