some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
