Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
