pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
