We won't sleep together?
Plan B is the new Plan A
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
