If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
