i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
