my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you traded sex for a burrito?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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