it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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