if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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