You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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