Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
