Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
