is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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