How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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