i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
