and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
