Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
