Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
