And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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