My nipple is on Facebook.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
