is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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