I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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