they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its about making memories worth repressing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
