Moan for me like Helen Keller
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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