when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
