So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
