I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
