I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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