I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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