My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
