can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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