I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
