I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
