my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
