So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
