i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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