just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
