Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
