Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
