i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
