How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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